Church Boy Read online

  It may be that out of a hundred people who come down to the front at the end of a concert, no more than fifty or sixty will actually take the next step and begin a sincere walk with the Lord. But I take comfort in the knowledge that it’s fifty or sixty more than it would have been if we hadn’t been there that night.

  I understand that some people just get caught up in the emotion and come forward because others are doing it, and nothing will really change in their lives. I know that happens. I’m sure it happens in Billy Graham crusades and at altar calls every Sunday. But who knows how the seed we’ve planted may start growing a month, a year, or even ten years down the road? We don’t create the harvest. We just trust God for the increase.

  God spoke through the prophet Isaiah when he said, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways” (Isaiah 55:8). We don’t need to question what He’s doing; He knows. We just have to be faithful to the calling we’ve been given.

  Later, Paul said, “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him” (1 Corinthians 2:9). I love that verse, and I really warm to its message. God has got something so incredible laid up for His children, we can’t even begin to imagine how awesome it’s going to be!

  We touch those we can, and knowing that there are a lot of church people in the crowd most nights, we hope some of those people may be able to reach out to the ones who come forward.

  I remember one night when three women came up to the front separately and said they’d just found out they had AIDS, and they asked for prayer. Of course, I said I would pray for them, but that’s a serious responsibility.

  The only way I can do it is to pray immediately and to say, “Dear God, please bless this woman and heal her of the disease according to Your will and the faith You’ve given to her.” If I don’t do it right then, I may forget to pray later and break a promise. So I’ve learned that I need to pray right then, whenever possible.

  One of the most amazing concerts we ever did was in Detroit, Michigan, in 1995. We were getting close to the end of the show, and everything was going just great. I had asked those who wanted to get right with Jesus to come forward, but so many people started coming down the aisles to give their lives to Him that the crowd up front overfilled the capacity.

  Most of the auditoriums we perform in are union halls, so we have to be finished and out of there right on time or we can get charged a lot of money, and the promoters don’t like that at all. This particular night there were so many people up front giving their hearts to Christ, I realized we had a problem and we were going to get stuck with a big bill.

  But the Holy Spirit was moving and people were being blessed, so I wasn’t going to break it up over money. Instead I was led to do something I’ve never done before or since, and I know it was the Holy Spirit speaking to me. He told me to ask for money.

  I never do that. I find it hard to do that for myself, let alone in a concert crowd that size. So when the Lord spoke to my heart, I prayed, “Lord, You know what You’re doing, and You know what You want to do tonight. So bless my words.”

  I took the microphone and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve gone overtime, and it’s going to cost us some money. Now, I’m not going to beg, but if you’ve been blessed tonight and if you don’t mind helping me pay this overtime bill, would you help us out?”

  Before I even got the words out of my mouth, money started falling from the balcony. People were throwing ten-and twenty-dollar bills down on the stage. Everywhere I looked there was money raining down on us, and people were passing it up to the stage. I’ve never seen anything like it in my entire life. I had never asked for money on the road, and now folks were running up to the stage putting money up there for us. I didn’t know what to do.

  So I looked back at Jessie Hurst and said, “Jessie, send somebody up here to get the money.” I didn’t even want to touch it.

  As I said earlier, I’ve never felt the Lord speak to me about healing or anything of that kind, but every now and then the gift of prophecy will come. I believe the Bible is trustworthy, and I believe in the gifts of the Spirit. I mean, if it’s in the Bible, I believe it. So when the Lord spoke to me, I listened.

  That night He also told me there was a woman there who was flat broke and had absolutely nothing left. He told me this woman and her kids were just about to be evicted from their apartment and had no place to go. He said to help her.

  With that on my mind, the Lord then led me to speak to the people, and I said, “I believe that God is telling us to be a blessing to someone tonight.” So I told them about the woman I felt the Lord had laid on my heart, and I said, “We’re going to take some of the money you’ve given tonight and bless that woman, whoever she is.”

  Well, I had no way of knowing any of that by human wisdom. For all I knew, there could have been a hundred women in the audience that night who matched the description. And all of them might come up at once and claim their blessing.

  But God had said that there was a woman, and only one woman came up and told me she was the one I had just described. In my spirit, I knew she was the one. Afterward, she told me her story, and I stood there in tears while she told me what was happening to her; it was exactly as I had described it on stage.

  She said it wasn’t even her idea to come to see us that night. She had come on a church bus with a bunch of other people who insisted that she come along and receive a blessing from God. She said she didn’t want to come because she didn’t have anything to wear, so her friend had loaned her the dress she was wearing.

  She didn’t have any idea what was going to happen to her, but when I spoke those words she knew that God had singled her out, that He had called her out of a crowd of thousands of people to receive a blessing.

  When we counted out the money the audience had showered on us, it turned out to be exactly enough to pay the union overtime and to give that woman the precise amount she said she needed to pay the rent and take care of her immediate debts. Brother, when something like that happens, you better believe God is right in the middle of it!

  WHEN THE SPIRIT MOVES

  When God moves, you can feel it all over the house, and I think we all felt His hand that night. I usually warn the audience at the start of the show that this is going to be a new experience for some of them. I won’t always have to do that; sooner or later people are going to know what to expect when they come to our concerts.

  But honestly, there’s always going to be something in me, whenever we do a show or a live concert, that wants to tell people to get ready. I don’t like getting too comfortable. I hate routine, and I don’t want my music to become so familiar that people will know what to expect and there are no new surprises.

  I enjoy getting up in front of the people, taking them on this musical experience, and at the end of the road, right before they get off the roller coaster, asking them if they know the Lord. That’s very special, and the journey getting there is also fun. The chance to create a whole musical experience is an incredible opportunity and privilege, and I don’t take it lightly.

  Getting from town to town and dealing with all the arrangements and hassles that go with it, now that can be strenuous! I don’t like that part. Waking up in the morning and catching another plane. That’s tough. But as far as ministering in song is concerned, I count it as a privilege.

  The interaction with the Family, horsing around, telling stories, cracking jokes, and all the silly stuff backstage is always a lot of fun. I’m not a heavy-handed leader. I don’t like getting down on people or yelling. Now and then we may have a disagreement or two or somebody may let the group down by showing up late or maybe not showing up at all, and then I have to say something. But that’s the part of my job I like the least.

  I don’t have the kind of temperament to keep riding people who don’t pull their share, so if it happens very often I may have to let them go. I wish it didn’t have to be th
at way. For the most part, everybody in our camp knows how things are, and they bend over backward to make it work.

  A few Contemporary Christian music stations are playing our music now, but I don’t foresee any big changes until there’s a better dialogue between blacks and whites in this country. There is still a racial problem. I know the church is trying to deal with it. Promise Keepers has been trying to deal with it, and there are some signs of a movement. But it’s not finished yet, and we’re still a long way from solving the problems. In the meantime, I’m not sure my music is going to cross over to a general audience.

  Somebody told me that during our preview concert in New York there was a whole section of white people in the audience, and they were getting into it as much as anybody in the house. That doesn’t happen a lot, but I think it’s great when it does. God doesn’t pay attention to color. The Bible says He’s no respecter of persons. So if He can use my music to bring people together, then I’m all for it!

  If it happens, wonderful. But people are going to have to make decisions. I often feel that gospel music and what I’m doing are never going to be that popular. The reason is because if people really listen to this music, then they’re going to have to start making some decisions about Jesus, and I don’t know how many of them are ready for that.

  But I can see that God is moving. Take, for example, the story of our keyboard player, Bobby Sparks, one of the most outstanding musicians I have ever known. When we’re rolling with Bobby on the keys, Jerome Allen on bass, and Erik Morgan on the drums, anything can happen. Bobby has been with me since day one, but he just gave his life to the Lord a few days before we started our New York tour in August 1997.

  When people remember you back when, when they know all the dirt on you and they’ve seen you do wrong, and when they finally see Jesus in you and receive your message, to me that’s the greatest testimony imaginable. For people to know you and to know all your junk and to see that Jesus is moving in you, that’s really important.

  Imagine my feelings when I saw Bobby come down from the keyboard one night and stand there in front of the stage with all the others who had come forward that night. What an awesome sensation ran through my mind! Here was a man I truly loved, who had been with me from the start. It took all that time for him to realize that Jesus is the only way, the only truth, and the only life that really matters and to come down from the stage and give His heart to Jesus. Not in Dallas, not in New York, but in Birmingham, Alabama, in the middle of our tour.

  I think Bobby’s decision really started at the hotel earlier that day. He was always the guy who just had no limits. We were sitting around talking about something we were going to do that night at the concert. He was trying to explain something to me, and I just wasn’t getting it.

  Finally, he said, “Oh, man, just forget it.”

  It was as if he was saying there was something wrong with him because he couldn’t explain what he meant.

  I said, “There’s nothing wrong with you, Bobby. There are some things in your life that you need to get straight.

  I don’t usually say stuff like that—that’s the kind of thing your mother might say. But I had a special place in my heart for him.

  At one point I said, “Bobby, you have an awesome gift, and you’ve got all this talent. But it’s not submitted to the Lord.” Bobby did a double take; those words had an effect on him, and he was thinking about that.

  Then I said, “Gifts and calling come with repentance, Bobby. Peter said, ‘Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit’ [Acts 2:38]. So if you want the gift, you have to give up anything that’s holding you back from God.” I did not say that to Bobby because I had a closer relationship to him; I’ve been where Bobby was and I knew what he needed.

  I guess Bobby took those words to heart, and that night I saw the fruit of our conversation. But I was as surprised as anyone—expect maybe Bobby—to see him go down front and give his life to Christ. That moment stands out as one of the highlights of my ministry, and now Bobby’s not just my black brother and a fellow musician but also a brother in Christ.

  TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS

  In a group like ours, teamwork is very important, and that’s especially true when the object is to serve God and point people to Jesus. Every member of the Family is important to me, and every voice brings something to our sound that is essential.

  Losing one voice changes our balance, and when one of the band members is off or not with us, it has an effect on our performance. So I work very hard to keep the strength and unity of the team, and I felt that Bobby’s decision made Kirk Franklin & the Family a stronger team.

  I’ve had people try to run my thing, to sort of push things one direction or another, but they didn’t last long. It wasn’t a yell-fight thing—we don’t do much of that—but we all knew they had to go. Our team leaders all work that way.

  Jessie Hurst is a tough manager, but he’s not mean. The guys who run the boards and make the stage show happen can be demanding and loud when they have to, but they’re with us all the way. Every one of those people contributes something important to the impact of our performance. I’m convinced they’re all handpicked by God to be doing what they’re doing and to be doing it with us.

  The biggest challenge I have is trying to get away from what other people are saying about me, because sometimes what other people want me to be may not be what God wants me to be. I honestly hate looking in the mirror. It doesn’t matter how much I pray or how much time I spend before God, it’s always a challenge to maintain focus and to be objective about this ministry.

  It seems like I’m always on the run, constantly going, never taking a vacation. Tammy and I had to wait five months into our marriage to have a honeymoon. When our first album took off, we were running as hard as we could to keep up with it, and since then there has been very little time for ourselves. When you’re on the roller coaster you can’t just step off anytime you feel like it, but people tell me that I’ve got to change that. Cells have to rebuild, muscles have to rest, and my spirit needs a retreat now and then to renew and refresh.

  Even the things I like to do I have to keep in check. I like to go to the mall, to go shopping, but that’s not always being a good steward. So a lot of time I have to check that. Learning what to do and what not to do with God’s money is very important to me. Until the day I die, I’ll be convinced that this is God’s money. Because of that, just because I see something I like or even that I need, that doesn’t necessarily mean I should have it. So I have to weigh that, to be sure it’s right and that God approves, then do the right thing with the resources He has given to me.

  What’s happening now is that I’m learning how to enjoy my family. I’m beginning to find my peace with my wife and children and to just enjoy this beautiful relationship God has given me as a husband and father. When we’re not on the road, I try to take Mondays off to spend with my family. That’s family day.

  Recently I read an article about accountability among Christian leaders, particularly black leaders in the church. The writer was Bishop Larry Trotter of Chicago. It was a powerful word from a brother who’s a little older than I am but who has an awesome heart for God, and he said what every Christian leader needs to hear.

  The primary focus of the article was about sex and the ministry, and he got very transparent and very honest with the readers. He took off his bishop shirt and just got real.

  I said I needed to meet this man, so we got together. It has been a great experience for me to meet and fellowship with someone like Bishop Trotter, who has seen the truth and is willing to go on the record for what has become such an important issue today.

  Accountability is important. I’m glad to say that Fred Hammond, who is one of the most important gospel singers of the last fifty years, has become a close personal friend. We have a mentoring, fostering relationship with one another;
we’re accountable to each other. Fred really knows what it means to live out in your private life what you say you believe in public. Fred is what he seems to be all the time, and I love that about him.

  As I said in the first chapters of this book, I wasn’t the most popular guy around when I was growing up. I wasn’t a standout in a crowd, I wasn’t picked for the teams, I wasn’t admired by the girls. The young men everybody liked were the hard guys, the macho guys, and I wasn’t like that. I wasn’t somebody everybody wanted to hang out with.

  But there were a number of guys I hung around with when I was growing up, and two of them started calling me a couple of years ago when our records were getting popular. They would leave messages and want me to call back.

  Now, I knew these kids when I was very young. But when we got into junior high and high school, we drifted apart and hardly ever saw each other anymore. They were both good-looking guys, extremely popular with the girls, and of course I wasn’t. So there was no reason for them to keep track of me, and eventually they lost interest.

  These guys knew me. We went to church together, went to the movies together, but when they got popular and busy they stopped calling. So now that I’m better known and my music has been successful, they start calling me all the time. But before long word got back to me that these guys were saying things about me behind my back.

  I’m very busy and on the road a lot, so I don’t have time to talk to most people, especially to those who never had time for me back then. But one of these guys left a nasty message on my answering machine, and he had an attitude because I hadn’t had a chance to call him back.

  So I called him and said, “What’s your problem?”

  He said, “You’re acting like you’re some kind of big shot now. You never call anybody.”

  I’m thinking, Am I hearing what I think I’m hearing?What is this guy thinking? We knew each other years ago, but we hadn’t spoken since the tenth grade. Now he was upset because I wouldn’t return his calls? Excuse me, but where was he when I needed a friend? Where was he when I was sitting home every night? So I finally called back and said, “Forgive me if I don’t return your calls. It’s been far too long, and there’s far too much water under that old bridge.”